The Belvedere Journal
Slice Of Happiness - Chapter 1
Updated: Nov 1, 2022
by Neph M
TW: Mention of suicide and depression.
A prison made just for him. A prison created by himself. Something to keep him locked away, something to keep him safe.
September 6th. A young boy sat alone in his room, a singular slice of cake sat on his desk.
"Happy... Birthday, to me."
Feng Ai, who had freshly turned 17, sat slumped on his chair, not a singular care in the world. Not even a care for himself. Looking up, his ceiling, a mirror, reflected his almost shiny platinum-blonde hair, slender body and legs, combined with delicately painted features sitting on his picturesque face, but home to his dull pitch-black eyes. He was someone who would be described as beautiful. However, he himself could not care for his beauty, in his situation, who would? He clutched a small photo frame, inside an image containing what seemed to be him as a young boy, a beautiful woman, and the body of a man whose head had been generously crossed out. He held the photo tightly to his chest, his heart aching.
The mattress caught Feng Ai's body, engulfing him within the piles of blankets and small plush animals he had bought to comfort himself, that of course, to no avail.
"Haah. The hell am I s'posed to do now?"
The feeling of his aching heart, his loneliness and longing for appreciation trapped him within his own mind. A prison made just for him. A prison created by himself. Something to keep him locked away, something to keep him safe.
This memory of his mother, flashing in his mind, the memory he tried so hard to bury back inside of him, a desperate attempt to drown it out, failing. Failing to escape a failure at everything. A failure tying the noose. A coward.